El Présente

“You think of it, all you have is the present moment. The past doesn’t exist anymore, the future hasn’t happened.” I was chatting with a gentleman I often see on my lakeside walks. It was a brilliant sunny late February day, a canoe out on the lake. The gentleman I was talking to is in his eighties, an avid walker, always greets me with a smile, and I learn in this conversation, a fan of Marcus Aurelius. He has a well worn copy of the Roman emperor’s personal essays that he’s consulted over the years. We were talking about the Stoics and the almost mind bending challenge to live in the fleeting present as our thoughts constantly want to travel backwards or forwards.

After I walked away, I thought about my own struggles to stay fully present. I am grateful my mind can travel back went I want it to; I enjoy intentionally roaming through my memories and love a warm hit of nostalgia. On the other hand, there is the incessant stream of thoughts that distract me from fully engaging in what I am doing in the moment. I could do with less of that. Though I have read or heard all sorts of tips on how to do this, I have spent far less time putting them into practice.

Over the following weeks I experiment with some. I try to slow down daily activities to savour the sensations, like making my cup of tea and doing my stretches and exercises; use a timer to stay focused on an activity for short periods of time; notice new things on my walks and even in my living room forcing me to pay greater attention to my surroundings.

Yet the thoughts keep trickling in.

As if the algorithms in my music feed want to dive into my experiment, a new album pops up by Shinova, a Spanish band I like. The title catches my attention:

El Présente (The Present)

The passage of time is a theme in many lyrics. Song writers have a beautiful way of expressing emotions and intangible concepts so vividly. It can give you goosebumps as my daughter has noted. The opening song in El Presénte hits with an image a wave cresting, the present moment always slipping over the last wave. The chorus is catchy. I can’t help but sing along, loving the music, but also to point me in the right direction.

It was a perfect moment to go for another long walk. A crisp sunny day in mid-March. I have good company, my neighbour who also loves to walk. The steady pace and good conversation means the 10 km fly by. She tells me when she consistently meditates for 2 or 3 weeks she feels more inner calm. What to do with the thoughts that inevitably drift in? Observe them, without judgement.

I have yet to try meditation but I am drawn to activities, that by design, keep me present. Writing is one. I get focused on an idea and words. Immersed in nature is another, like watching a sunrise with the awareness it’s fleeting. Dancing. I have to concentrate diligently on learning new moves. There is no room for any other thoughts. A good conversation. I recently had a great conversation with a friend about Zumba dancing so that was doubly immersive!

I can also get quite engrossed in lyrics, even more so with Spanish songs as I try to pick out words and phrases I recognize. The final song Antes de que todo acabe is like an anthem to living fully “before it’s all is over”. It does not matter how expensive your watch is if you can’t turn back the time that escapes you. So before it’s all over… don’t hold back, let’s see your best dance!

♫ Antes de que todo acabe

Vamos a jugar con clase, Vamos a forzar el saque

Antes de que todo acabe,

Vamos a hacerlo con arte, Quiero ver tu mejor baile.

So before it’s all over, let’s play with class, let’s force the serve, So before it’s all over, let’s do it with artistry, I want to see your best dance.

As if to bookend my experimentation into the present a Stoic quote shows up in my inbox. It’s from a rather unlikely source, a newsletter from a winery. The quote is from the Roman Emperor my lakeside walker so appreciates and that set me off on this exploration over the past few weeks.

Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current.

Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher

Another watery image of time swiftly passing. And time for me put down the books, pause the podcasts, and enter the flow. The stream of thoughts will persist. I can choose however what to do with them. Most of the time that’s gently push them away and return my attention to the present.

And on those rare and delightful occasions when my focus stays right in front of me, absorbed in what that moment offers, I can appreciate it. Fully.

♫ Seré nuestro plan amar en el siempre,

Beber del presente, Gritar tu verdad,

Siendo conscientes de la enorme suerte,

De ser y estar, De ser y estar

That will be our plan to love in forever, To drink from the present, To shout your truth, Being conscious of the enormous fortune, To be and of being, To be and of being