The Art of Making Memories
He had me at Hygge.
Then there was Lykke.*
And now happy memories.
* These Danish words have become quite popular, but as a quick refresher: Hygge (hoo-gaa) is a cosy feeling of contentment and Lykke (luuh- kah) is happiness.
Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute, has made a trilogy. Cue Star Wars music.
🎵 Duuh Duuh da da da Duuh Duuh… 🎵
A trilogy of insights, advice and tips on happiness research. The Art of Making Memories: How to create and remember happy moments is his latest book from the Copenhagen institute spreading happiness and joy.
Clearly, I am a fan of nostalgia. I devote a whole category to reminiscing on my blog. So I was intrigued to read there are scientific studies on nostalgia. There is growing evidence that
“nostalgia produces positive feelings and boosts our self esteem and sense of being loved and reduces negative feelings such as loneliness and meaninglessness”
Meik Wiking, The Art of Making Memories
Our happiness depends in part on whether we create a positive narrative of our life: the nostalgia-to-be moments. So how do we create, store and retrieve these happy memories? The answers are in this little book. First, the book’s design is adorable. It makes me smile just looking at it. Second, it’s a delightful read. Meik takes us through eight ingredients for creating and remembering happy moments that will have you grinning, and occasionally chuckling, with his warm and witty sense of humour.
These 8 components are based on research (it is a research institute after all). The Happiness Research Institute conducted a Happy Memory Study asking people to describe one of their happy memories. Patterns emerge from this study.
So, what are these eight ingredients? I will not go through all eight, but will highlight some. Harness the Power of Firsts is the first lesson. We tend to remember our first moments more vividly. Since we experience a lot of first moments during our formative years from age 15 to 30, this is known as the “reminiscence bump”. Bruce Springsteen prefers Glory Days. When I get together with my friends from high school, this song is almost a mantra as we laugh over our “Do you remember?” moments.
As we get older, we have to work a bit harder at creating first moment experiences as the grind of daily life sets in. One of the Happy Memory Tips in the book is to visit a new place once a year, whether it’s an exotic destination or a local park. I love this idea. Much of this blog is to encourage me to go to places I have never visited before.
A second tip is to create a memorable experience by trying a new food. Recently, I decided to test this tip. My daughter and I went to the grocery store with the sole purpose of choosing a piece of fruit we had not tried before. There was a dragonfruit, but we bought an Asian pear and honey mango. On the way home, we regretted not going for the more exotic dragonfruit and joked that we basically bought a pear and mango. It turned out not be a trip for our taste buds, but nonetheless a silly story we share (we’ll see what we remember in a year or two!)
The second chapter, Make it Multisensory, is packed with Happy Memory Tips to encourage you to use all five senses to help you remember a happy moment. Musical memories are powerful for me (I had one recently listening to Pink Floyd at Creekside Estate Winery).
Taste and smells can be strong memory triggers too. Fresh cut grass will pull me right back to my childhood summers. Meik references Marcel Proust’s “madeleine moment” when the famous author takes a bite of a madeleine cookie dipped in tea and is flooded with childhood memories. This is also the moment from Disney’s Ratatouille when the restaurant critic Anton Ego takes a bite of the signature dish and is immediately transported back to his mother’s kitchen as a young boy.
I have not experienced a “madeleine moment”. Please share with me if you have. I do want to try the Happy Memory Tip to create a memory dish with my family. I need to think up specific dish that I can link to a happy experience. Hmm…it may feature a pear and a mango.
The third ingredient is to Invest Attention. We remember moments better when we pay attention to them. Or as Sherlock Holmes likes to say, when we both see and observe. Observing requires our attention. There is research that suggests that “stopping to smell the roses” can increase life satisfaction (this is something I have been trying to work on). Feelings of awe or a sense of connecting with nature, for example, are connected to happiness.
The book is filled with so many other tips like planning for milestones you want to celebrate or retelling stories of happy experiences. At the end of the book, Meik maps out some ideas for each month to help plan for a happy and memorable year.
The message is we are all “memory architects”. As our own architects, we have the tools and strategies to influence our memories and the memories shared with family and friends.
“… our memories are the cornerstones of our identity. They are the glue that allows us to understand and experience being the same person over time. They are our superpower, which allows us to travel in time and sets us free from the limitations of the present moment. They shape who we are now and how we act. They influence our mood and help form our dreams for the future.”
Meik Wiking, The Art of Making Memories
Take that Wonder Women. Step aside Thor and your hammer, and your god-like chiselled features. We all have a superpower. We can all be happy memories makers.
